Love avoidants don't seem to come in for therapy as much as their counterpart - the love addict. However, occasionally they do....especially when they realize that they have broken up with that perfectly nice gal they were involved with for no good reason....and it keeps happening....As they get older, the love avoidant begins the see a pattern and their loneliness may drive them in for help.
Although on the outside, the love avoidant seems more "together" than the love addict, sometimes they are more difficult to deal with. So what are the steps to conquering love avoidance.
1) Address primary addictions. Oftentimes the love avoidant is addicted to something - be it alcohol, sex,excessive sports, risk taking, etc. Their addiction makes them unavailable for intimacy.
2) Join a Support Group. It is important for the The Love Avoidant to join a support group such as a 12 step group in order to begin practicing healthy intimacy in a safe environment.
3) Deal with childhood wounding. The love avoidant generally speaking has had enmeshment with their opposite sex parent. As children, they felt the pressure of emotionally and sometimes physically taking care of an addicted or otherwise immature parent. This was too much and overwhelming to the child. So much so, that in adulthood, they fear intimacy and fear they will be suffocated or overwhelmed - a relive of their childhood experience.
Stay tuned for part 2 of this article tomorrow.....
Questions, comments....if you would like more information on Love addiction or avoidance or to make an appointment, please call Stephanie at 210-287-4002